6th June 2009
Your usual second team correspondent was unable to report on this game and so I have been pulled out of retirement having not reported on a match since the demise of the ‘Flail on Tuesday’ almost a decade ago. It is understood that Luke’s reporting prowess has been noticed by the tabloids and he has been asked to report on Gordon Brown’s (possibly) last few days in office. Although on reflection when I was told Luke was at Chequers, I fear that this was not the prime ministers country retreat but a pub in Wickham Bishops.
Anyway to the game which was littered with rampant apathy from the moment the teams took to the field about 5 minutes late for no reason that any of the eager crowd could fathom. Paul had lost the toss and Cavaliers were asked to bat first. Paul and Vinnie started the game with an ultimately successful quest for the dot ball. Indeed Paul’s quest was so successful that he broke his bat in the process. However before a replacement could be delivered he had succumbed to an LBW from Ardleigh’s quickest bowler. Vinnie soon followed leaving the team on 7 for 2 after 6 overs. Luckily the game is not about running around like a youngster and the two stalwarts of Peter Johnson and Martin Pawsey steadied the ship and it was another 8 overs and 20 runs before Peter was out trying to force the pace. Your correspondent then joined the fray and stuck the first 3 fours of the innings with some imperious and occasional comical batting. Indeed one stoke would have left Brain Johnston and Jonathon Agnew collapsed in laughter as rising ball caused a stumble and unlike Botham, I did indeed get my leg over. The pitch continued to deliver some high bounces and we continued to bat irresponsibly and eventually we were down to our last batsman. As Bernie strolled out to the centre Vinnie was heard to mutter these words, "Commeth the hour Commeth the man". We waited expectantly and were not let down. Bernie slashed outside off stump at his first ball which raced away down towards the scorers only for it to hold up literally millimetres in front of the boundary, which was a shame as it meant Bernie and Deji had to run all four themselves. We waited expectantly for the next ball, but Bernie skied to it mid on and was caught, Cavaliers were all out for just 92 runs from 31 overs. But the entertainment was not quite over as Bernie on approaching the scorers eagerly asked how many runs did I get!!!!
The Ardleigh innings started off at a reasonable pace, Jason and Tony sharing the task of keeping them under control and Tony took the first wicket in a 4 over spell that if you ignore the first over (I am sure Tony wants to) gave him one for three. Jason before the game had started made a plea to be allowed to bowl down wind but this was ignored by the captain (no change there!) nevertheless he put in a good opening spell of five overs no wickets for 7. But in truth the batsmen were never really troubled. Deji threw in a few too many beamers and one of the openers was hit in the face off his own bat. But the total being chased was always far too low. Bernie bowled magnificently for his 1 for 10 from 8 overs. There were two moments worth recalling during the innings; one was something I have never heard of in over 30 years of playing cricket when Bernie asked the umpire to step to the side out of his way. Now the umpire was Phil who had a puffa jacket on under the umpire coat and did indeed present a broad beamy profile. Phil declined to move sideways and offered to move forward or back. The second incident of note came from yours truly. One of the Ardleigh batsmen had made a habit of walking up and down the wicket as the bowler advanced (an annoying and disrespectful habit that many young cricketers seem to adopt these days) and then dabbing the ball into the gaps, on this occasion he did this into the on side and your correspondent swooped onto the ball and with a deft flick of the boot, half volleyed the ball into the stumps. A confident (some say theatrical) appeal to the umpire bought, alas, no success, although I and many of the partisan crowd still believe that the bat was not grounded. Never mind, the game reached an inevitable conclusion in the 29th over when the visitors reached their total with 7 wickets to spare.
We had 2 newcomers making their weekend debuts for the team, Amos can be satisfied with his performance with bat and ball, but I fear Dan will be very disappointed with his performance behind the stumps missing 2 of the 3 catching chances presented to him. Thanks go to Phil you umpired for most of the match and even taught the opposition a thing or two about the rules. (It’s a wicket keeper thing you will need to ask Phil about!).
So who was the man of the match, well your correspondent put in a claim with his top score with the bat and Ronaldoesque fielding, but the votes in the end had to go to Bernie for his super spell of bowling.
Stephen Peeling
Cavaliers II 92 vs. Ardleigh 93-3
Ardleigh won by 7 wickets
Friendly
